STOP Gender Based Violence

Stop Gender Based Violence

The month  of October 2021 was marred by a surge of  Gender Based Violence cases in Nairobi. The  gut wrenching events that happened  left  Kenyans with many questions, devastated the  families, friends, industries and the country as a whole.

In both cases, they featured prominent personalities. I guess that’s the reason why the intricate details of both cases spread so fast and the names of the people involved on everyone’s lips.

Gender Based Violence( GBV) is not new in the country. It has been in existence for a long time and are often swept under the carpet and evidence locked up in dark closets. These unfortunately are only brought to the fore when well- known persons are involved .

A young life snuffed out while another life takes downward turn

World record holder and celebrated athlete Agnes, was brutally murdered by  her partner. She had just participated in Toyko Olympics this very year finishing 4th in 5000 meters race .A Month later ,she broke a world record in 10k  race setting a time of 30.01 in Germany!

It’s heartbreaking that even after shuttering world records travelling the world she still faced Gender Based Violence that is so pervasive in the country. This eventually lead to her death. Her former partner fled but was later apprehended by the authorities.

Agnes’ hopes and dreams of shattering more records and winning more gold medals were brutally crashed by one so close to her. She did not plan to die anytime soon. Her partner whom is not as well known, must have had dreams of his own too. Perhaps they had planned on starting a wonderful family together.


They must have heard of other gbv  and murder cases on the news, they perhaps seemed too far away from them. Just like the rest of us, we hear of things happening to others and we often tend to think that’s them,not me or they chose that life.

Two  attacked and shaken to the core while other two lives destroyed

The other case  involved two sisters who were attacked by two brothers they had met at a party. A certain video did rounds on social media captured some detail of what happened in real time. They only know what truly transpired that fateful night.  The ladies eventually got help and the brothers faced wrath of Kenyans on social media, and not to mention a looming legal case. This no doubt has damaged their families and their promising business venture that was to transform many lives for the better. All their lives  will never be the same again.

None of these people ever dreamed that such fate would befall them. They all seemed to be ordinary people living their lives ,just like you and me. It is unfortunate when one sees himself as an outsider and judges the victims and the offenders soo harshly, only for you to find yourself in a similar position having done probably  even worse.

Early Marriages and GBV

A certain wealthy Octogenarian sold off his teenage daughter into forced marriage to a friend. When the young lass ran away, her months’ old baby was given to the man to be raised in his home as a future wife!  Anyone who dared oppose the old man for his stoneage thinking would bear the brunt of his wrath, the first in line was his elderly wife.

I later learnt that as this was happening in Kenya, a similar story was happening in Afghanistan. Men forcing their wives to sell off their young daughters and babies as wives.

End GBV

We truly are our brothers and sister’s keeper, some tragedy that one person goes through may seem soo far off ,far removed from your reality until it is you facing that very thing.

Like loosing a loved one, you may have seen someone bury their dead and wondered why they didn’t carry themselves with decorum and dignity  until you get your turn.
We cheat ourselves in thinking that we are independent individuals, grown adults, making your own money, we don’t need to be bothered by others be it family, neighbor or foreigner.

We fool ourselves in thinking our countries are Independent and sovereign with our own jurisdictions and laws. We need to wake up to the reality that we may seem independent but are interdependent on one another.

It’s sad that when stories of this nature are aired on the media some of us are quick to change the channel or swipe away to something more interesting like the latest celebrity gossip. Preferring to  drown ourselves with  the seemingly  perfect lifestyles ignoring what is truly happening to humanity around us.

It’s sad when we act aloof thinking that those are not our problems, that everybody is different and independent We are more alike than you think, more connected to each other  than you know and interdependent on each other than we care to admit.

Ending GBV cannot be done by the mere stroke of a pen. I realize that stopping GBV would take more than that, more collective and deliberate action from people, institutions, governments. But if we each did our bit and took steps toward that daily we can stop GBV dead in its tracks

  • Admit that none of us are perfect.

    Our human pride makes us think that we are more superior than our fellow humans. It blurs our reality and we think we are perfect. But truth is none of us is perfect. None has a perfect heart, perfect behavior or perfect morals.

  • Admit that we need help.
    Now that we know we are not perfect, we seek help. We strive for excellence to become better. If you are in a strenuous relationship or troubled within yourself  seek help, someone to listen to you and offer  wise counsel and who you would be accountable to. Seeking help is not limited to experts but divine help as well!
    We should also seek help from Our Creator, for he made you after all. The Lord Jesus is our help in time of need. His Holy Spirit gives us counsel, strength, comfort and even helps us to live right. We are to rely on his strength and his guidance he promises that If we seek him we shall indeed find him! So start seeking!

  • Admit that we need to care for others
    We are interdependent and that no man or woman is an island! Nothing has made this fact more real than the recent Covid pandemic. When it started in China, it seemed just like any other flu until it spread to the entire world in a matter of days! To date there are more than 252 Million cases in the world, and out of those 5Million ended in fatalities.
    So let’s care for the plight of others. Reach out to help those in need, who are suffering, you don’t need to be a rich philanthropist to do so. Just start by being kind, speaking kind words to others without excluding yourself!
    Again this I have found will prove difficult if not impossible without divine help. The simplest way I can say this is that you can’t give what you don’t have. The Lord Jesus who is eternal love personified fills you with love that overflows to others. So if you ever run out go back to his source, its eternal, never ending plus he guarantees eternal life if you simply believe in him!
  • Take the right action
    Now that you have the information, you need to use it right? So go ahead and take action, take the right action that will lead you in the right direction, in doing your bit in ending GBV and transforming your little part of the world.

IN SEARCH OF PERFECTION

Perfect Perfection

If there was one unconscious desire that all humans had it would be the pursuit of perfect perfection. Many wish they were  born into the perfect family, attended the perfect school, got perfect grades ,perfect friends, perfect scholarship, perfect  internship, perfect job, perfect employer, perfect BFF, Perfect boss, perfect customer service, perfect neighbor, perfect date, perfect  dress ,perfect suit, perfect phone ,perfect car, perfect ring, perfect performance, perfect house, perfect spouse, perfect body, perfect child, perfect city, perfect country, perfect world .Let me burst that bubble right here. We are undoubtedly in awe of perfect perfection yet we are imperfect beings!

The irony of life is an imperfect being demanding for perfection ,yet they themselves fall short and are making zero attempts to improve.

  • A parent demanding absolute obedience from their children, yet they themselves are blatantly disobedient .
  • An unfaithful spouse demanding perfect loyalty from their partner.
  • Incompetent leaders demanding nothing but the utmost performance.
  • A citizen criticizing their government for corruption while disregarding  their own thievery
  • Decrying  the immoral state of the community yet one’s life is in the proverbial immoral gutter.

No one is Perfect

 Interestingly those who seem perfect to the rest of the world are seen as super human; the most disciplined ,the most accomplished, the wealthiest, the healthiest and strongest , the fastest, most influential. This is not entirely negative as it spurs progress and encourages humanity to reach higher heights .They may appear perfect but are instead committed to a serious pursuit of excellence. We should all aspire for excellence and applaud those who do as they show the rest of the world that excellence is achievable.

Acknowledging that no one is perfect should never be an excuse for us to knowingly continue living in apathy or in sin. We should instead admit to ourselves first that we messed up and admit the same to God and guess what, He NEVER Condemns Us. He is Waiting for us to come to him and he will receive us with open arms.

Many of Us find it difficult to do so as we have a distorted view of who God is, some may see him as aloof and too far off, a mean school principal or judge or even an angry old man  . These  are just wrong perceptions tainted by unfortunate incidents  in your past!

He is a Loving Father, The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He is a Faithful and Just God .We are also promised that If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Hallelujah!!

Despite Our Imperfection, We Are Made Righteous

God knows  that we are not perfect beings, he wants us to rely on him on his strength and his mercy. God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin.

The Gospel reveals the righteousness of God – a righteousness that is by faith in Christ. The same Gospel declares the good news to all, that God sent his own  Son to die for all our sins. He took our sins to the cross and in exchange we got HIS Righteousness!

“ But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

Romans 3: 21 -24


The Only Perfect One

The Perfect One

The Perfect One

The Only Perfect One

He is perfectly Compassionate, He is LOVE

He perfectly True, He Is TRUTH

He is Perfectly Good, He is GREAT

He is perfectly Pure, He is HOLY

He is perfectly Right, He is RIGHTEOUS

He is perfect Power, He is POWERFUL

He is perfectly Strong, He is STRENGTH

He is perfect Glory , He is GLORIOUS

He is perfect Splendor, He is MAGNIFICENT MAJESTY

He is perfect Salvation ,HE is JESUS CHRIST

Comefullcircle.life

AFFIRMING YOURSELF


It is said that affirmations encourage an optimistic and positive mindset thus enabling one to overcome fear, negative thoughts and reach their full potential. However for this concept to work, it must be applied daily and consistently for the affirmations to sink into one’s subconscious mind.

Affirmations have benefited many all over the world and thus I felt compelled to embark on discovering the science behind it and figure out how it works. Turns out it is been a topic that has been studied in depth and found these guys here who did a splendid job.

 According to the NCBI US National Library  of Medicine, self-affirmation activates areas in the brain associated with valuation and reward .The study involved testing groups of affirmed individuals  and non- affirmed individuals (control group) with a series of questions to test their values and responses in current, future and past scenarios all while undergoing fMRI(Functional magnetic resonance imaging).

The conclusion was that the affirmed group showed significant neural activity in the  brain valuation/reward network  as compared to the non- affirmed group. Additionally the affirmed group displayed significant neural activity in the self-processing network when viewing future and past oriented scenarios.

In a nut shell, the affirmed group performed better in assessing current ,past and future situations, thereby concluding their outlook was more optimistic. In layman’s terms their brains lit up like Christmas trees in all scenarios while the control group did not.

It’s interesting to note that the participants were assessed on what they perceived as true, and  not necessarily proven as fact. What  if one based their affirmations on solid fact?

Well here are some facts that you can chew on and consider as my version of daily affirmations that are based on factual evidence. I wonder what would happen if you tried these for a change.

DAILY AFFIRMATIONS
Daily Affirmations 2021
THE TRUTH BEHIND THESE AFFRIMATIONS

YOU ARE LOVED AND CHERISHED

“I have loved you with an everlasting Love, I have drawn you with unfailing kindness” Jeremiah 31:3

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life”

John 3:16

YOU ARE REDEEMED AND SET FREE

“If the Son sets you free you will be free indeed!” John 8:36

“In Christ we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” Ephesians 1:7

YOU ARE FORGIVEN AND EMBRACED

The Parable of the prodigal( lost) Son
“ So he got up and went to his Father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” Luke 15:20

YOU ARE TREASURED AND VALUED

“Since you are precious and honored in my sight and because I love you” Isaiah 43:4

YOU ARE SEEN AND HEARD

Hagar, Mother Of Ishmael running away from her mistress Sarai
She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her “You are the God who sees me”, for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me” That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi.
(Well of the Living One who sees me)

YOU ARE CARED FOR AND THOUGHT OF

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” 1Peter 5:7

God speaking to Jonah regarding Assyria
“And should I not be concerned for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred  and twenty thousand people..” Jonah 4:11

YOU ARE STRENGHTENED AND MADE WHOLE

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”  Isaiah 41:10

Prophet Isaiah speaking about Jesus
“..The punishment that brought us peace was  on him, and By his stripes we are healed” Isaiah 53:5

YOU ARE SHELTERED AND PROVIDED FOR

I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”  Isaiah 41:10”

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most high will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty” Psalms 91:1

Abraham’s Test, God’s provision
“God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering my son.” Genesis 22:8

“..Put your hope in God who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.” 1 Tim 6:17

YOU ARE GIFTED AND TALENTED

God empowers the workers to make the ark of the covenant
“I have filled him with the Spirit of God with wisdom and understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills to make artistic designs for work in gold silver and bronze….also I have given ability to all the skilled workers to make everything I have commanded you” Exodus 31: 1-7

“But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift ,another has that.”1Cor 7:7

YOU ARE CALLED AND FOUND

“Do not fear for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine” Isaiah 43:1

Parable of the lost sheep
“Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep” Luke 15:6

YOU HAVE RECEIVED MERCY

“Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy” 1Pet 2:10

YOU ARE BLESSED

 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” Ephesians 1:3

Quit battling in the Flesh

WarfareAre you fighting battles in the flesh? Are you trying to resolve stuff with in your own strength? Put on your armor and take it to the LORD in prayer. Worship him for who HE is and what HE has been doing for you Trust in HIM for the Victory!

There  are times that I have found myself  in tough situations that seemed to appear from nowhere – well not nowhere, I realized that the signs  were evident but ignored them as they seemed harmless to the point of  insignificance. When these ignored signs later caused full blown turmoil I was thrown in disarray. Feeling unprepared and disenfranchised I resulted to fighting in the flesh. This quickly led to frustration and it was only after I went down on my knees to seek the LORD when  I realized how wrong I was.

Red Flags / Signs

Before we get to the warfare  part ,let me point out the signs  the red flags to watch out for. These tend to creep in slowly  but surely and before you know it, you fall flat on your face!

1. Too busy to pray
Does the day find you awake or does the day wake you up? These covid times have been trying for all people ,all nations, and all colours regardless of one’s social status. It should however not be an excuse for one to fail to pray nor to I have found that best way to start one’s day is to start it with the LORD in prayer ,preferably before the day breaks.

2. Too busy to study the word
Individual bible study is crucial for the survival of any child of God who wants to spend eternity with the LORD. How can one be in a relationship if there is no communication? The Word of God is Alive and active! No other text in this universe is alive, or Sharper than any double-edged sword,able to penetrate even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; to judge the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

3. Too busy to worship
Worship is what we were created to do. If mankind does not worship God they tend to find something else to worship. This of course leads down the slippery slope of idolatry. We worship out of our delight in Him.
CS. Lewis a famous author and theologian noted in his book  Reflection on the Psalms that  praise not only expresses our enjoyment but also completes our enjoyment.

4. Too grumpy to be grateful
Have you ever felt that someone was literally stealing your joy? Going about minding your own business and being joyful then suddenly ,you get robbed. Robbed off your Joy! One may be overwhelmed by challenges of life that it seems there is nothing to be grateful for. This is a tactic of the enemy to get you too grumpy to be grateful. The enemy only comes to steal kill and destroy .That includes stealing your joy. We are urged to “Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18

5. Harboring sin instead of confessing it
This is the stealthiest of all. Un-confessed sin lies low in one’s heart  when one has past wounds that have never been cleansed and healed by the blood of Jesus. The sin is harbored as the “victim” feels that they were treated unjustly and thus have a right to complain and hold on to the pain.
In other cases the sin could also be a flaw in one’s character  – stuff you know you are doing that you shouldn’t be doing but keep on doing anyway coz  you think no one knows about it, or that you got a grip on it. Harboring these sins can make one wither while still abiding in the vine and wondering why no spiritual fruit is forthcoming.

6. Misinterpreted warning dream
I truly believe that the LORD does speak to us in dreams and visions. There has been evidence of this in the bible even for non- believers. Take Pharaoh in Joseph’s time. He had a warning dream that occurred thrice, the same message in different scenarios. The Lord  allowed Joseph to be in prison  so that he would be the one to interpret Pharaohs dream at the right time. This way the people of two nations were preserved.
God does still speak to us this way, but most often than not we are too busy to take note or quickly run to horoscopes, false teachings and other worldly ways to try and interpret dreams hence running into the issue of misinterpreting the dream altogether. A misdiagnosed condition would not get the right medical attention and  treatment it deserves.

Weapons of our warfare

This topic has been exhaustively covered by experts in the field, hence this is just a summary of my findings.The word also tells us that “though we live in the world ,we do not wage war as the world does.The weapons we fight with are not of this world.On the contrary,they have divine power to demolish strongholds.We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ Jesus.”2 Corinthians 10:3-5

  1. Prayer & The Armor of God
    As described in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians 6: 10- 18 .The children of God need to put on this armor, the Belt  of Truth ,Breastplate of righteousness ,Shoes of Peace, Shield of Faith, Helmet of Salvation ,Sword of the Spirit and to Pray in the Spirit.
  2. The Blood of Jesus
    The bible tells us that We shall overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our Testimony .The Lamb here refers to the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the whole world, Jesus Christ .His precious blood paid the price for our ransom.
  3. The Name of Jesus
    Jesus before his crucifixion prayed for his disciples and all believers.” I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me” This name is Jesus Christ. John 17:11
  4. Worship and Praise
    Most may think that praise and worship is done only when everything is hunky-dory. On the contrary, when the going  gets rough get your praise on! Switch to a channel that’s got some serious praise going and  sing along ,or simply sing hymns that you sang as a child in school or those you heard old folk singing(yeah especially those that you didn’t fancy coz it was Old English).Bottom line is sing with your whole heart and dance.

    Psalms 8:2 “From the mouth of infants and nursing babes Thou hast established strength, Because of Thane adversaries, To make the enemy and the revengeful cease. (NAS)”

    Let me explain this further by quoting  a renowned Bible teacher ,Pastor and Author Derek Prince in his book Spiritual Warfare.
    “We see here that God has provided strength for His people against their enemies. Two words are used for the enemy. First, “adversaries,” in the plural. I believe this means Satan’s kingdom, in general. These are the principalities and powers, the rulers and authorities that are spoken of in Ephesians 6:12. The second word is “enemy,” in the singular. I believe that refers to Satan himself.”

  5. Weapon of Preaching
    I was astounded to discover this from Derek Prince’s book on Spiritual warfare as I had never heard anyone explain it like he did. He puts it this way ;
    It is solely and exclusively the preaching of God’s Word. It in no way applies to the preaching of other things, such as human philosophy, political ideologies, or even elaborate theology.”
    To  expound on this he highlighted various scriptures but that which stood out for me was Acts 19:8 -10
    “Paul entered the synagogue and spoke boldly there for three months, arguing persuasively about the kingdom of God. 9 But some of them became obstinate; they refused to believe and publicly maligned the Way. So Paul left them. He took the disciples with him and had discussions daily in the lecture hall of Tyrannus. 10 This went on for two years, so that all the Jews and Greeks who lived in the province of Asia heard the word of the Lord. (NIV)”

    He then described this kind of preaching from Paul as intense ,continuous and extensive and the end result  was that “God did extraordinary miracles through Paul” Acts 19:11

    6.Weapon of Testimony
    According to Google Testimony refers to a public recounting of a religious conversion or experience ,evidence or proof of something, a demonstration, a witness.
    By sharing our own personal testimonies of what the LORD has done for us is another way of triumphing over the enemy.
    Revelation 12:1 “They triumphed over him
    by the blood of the Lamb
    and by the word of their testimony;
    they did not love their lives so much
    as to shrink from death.”

    7.Fasting
    The very same verse above ,the second part  “they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death”  This verse is often interpreted as fasting. A dying of self, crucifying one’s flesh, denying oneself in order to grow the spirit man and focus on prayer.Jesus also taught his disciples the same. They had been unable to drive out an impure spirit that had possessed a boy .Jesus told them – “This kind can come out only by prayer and fasting” Mark:9:29

    It is my sincere hope that next time you are tempted to battle in the flesh, you will be wiser and apply what you have learnt here and all that the LORD reveals to you in His infinite wisdom.
    Shalom.