Author: ComeFullCircleblog

FORGIVENESS – Why It Matters & What Hinders It

by ComeFullCircleblog, posted in Forgiveness

Even writing this very word “forgiveness” causes me to shudder.

This is one topic that deep down I find difficult to write about. You see I’m not writing from a place of perfection, I cannot lie that I have perfected this whole thing about forgiveness. I’m doing this out of obedience and in the long run become beneficial to others and myself as well.

The funny thing is the only way to know is to do it till the very end.

WHY FORGIVE?

I have caught myself muttering “Why should I forgive them anyway? Wasn’t I the wronged party here?”

Forgiveness is easier said than done.

Wouldn’t it be easier if there was a forgiveness pill?
Just pop it in and let it work on the inside and out. It would sell like crazy… for eternity and across all galaxies in the universe!!…..Let me not get too loud lest Elon gets any crazy ideas.

In reality, the only way to deal with forgiveness is to go through it, no matter how painful.

So why forgive in the first place?

Christ loved us first and forgave us, even when we did not deserve it.

Jesus Christ taught on forgiveness and even lived it. He said that if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins your Father will not forgive your sins.

He also taught through parables, the best example on forgiveness can be drawn from parable of the unmerciful servant. (Matthew 18:21-35). If you are not familiar with that story it goes something like this. See, the servant owed a certain king 10,000 bags  of gold and was unable to repay him. The verdict was that the servant’s wife and children would be sold to clear his debt. He fell on his knees and begged the king for patience.  The King took pity on him, cancelled the entire debt and let him go.

Shortly after, this same servant found a fellow servant who owed him a mere 100 silver coins. Instead of showing him compassion, he grabbed him, choked his throat demanding his payment. The King Later heard about this and was livid. He had the unmerciful servant arrested and brought to him “Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?”  He asked. He had him imprisoned until he paid back all he owed.

The King in the story represents our Heavenly Father; he will treat us in the same manner if we fail to forgive others from the heart.

Even when Christ was looked down upon(by those close to him and far away), spat on, flogged and stripped,betrayed more than thrice by his buddies (all in the same night!!) ridiculed and brutally murdered, his dying words were”Father forgive them,for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34
He went through so much pain and humiliation yet he chose not to retaliate but to pray for others.Most of us have not endured a fraction of what He did,yet we are unable to forgive.

Some scripture verses put it quite bluntly, hence the reason they are rarely quoted.
“Anyone who does not loves remains in death. Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer”. 1 John 3:15

Jesus commands us to love one another. “A new command I give you, Love one another as I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another” John 13:34- 35

“This is how we know that love is: Jesus laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” 1 John 3:16

We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or a sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen”. 1 John 3:19

“This is love for God: to keep his commands”. 1 John 5:3

Other Benefits

Forgiveness also has been proven to produce health benefits – for one’s entire wellbeing and mental health, there are tons of medical studies that prove this fact.

From a scriptural perspective, this is also true. When God forgives, he also heals.

When Jesus healed the cripple in Luke He said “Friends your sins are forgiven” Luke5 17- 26 .To get more insights about this check out my previous post on Forgiveness and Healing

Forgiveness also leads to healing of land to mean the nations or the people

 2Chronicles 7:14 “I will forgive their sin and heal their land”

As believers, when we choose to forgive we are blessed by the Lord in ways that we cannot even begin to imagine. It all sounds pretty straight forward, but it’s difficult because there are many obstacles in the way that hinder us from practicing forgiveness.


HINDERANCES TO FORGIVENESS

Disobedience

Failing to forgive someone or to receive forgiveness is outright disobedience to God.
Now that’s difficult to swallow!! Take a deep breath and let’s try that again in tiny bits.

Christ summarized the 10 commandments into two; the first to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind”
and the second to “love your neighbor as yourself”. Matthew 22: 37 -40

We are also not left guessing on what love really means. 1 Corinthians 13 describes the attributes of Love. It is patient, kind but also Love is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs.
Guess what unforgiveness is? State of being easily angered and keeping long records of wrongs done.

The Lord’s Prayer also says “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors” Matthew 6:12
We are to love one another, forgive and show mercy and when we fail to do so, we are disobeying God’s word.

Pride

A prideful person is unable to live in harmony with others. It’s quite unfortunate that in the world we live in today, pride is thought to be a form of confidence. Many have been misled to believe in the “Me, myself and I” mentality and that being humble is to be retrogressive and the way of life of the 1st century folks.

“Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge;I will repay. Says the Lord”. Romans 12:16- 20

Ungratefulness

Gratitude is one of the hallmarks of Christianity and other religions as well. Infact scripture tells us to enter into God’s gates presence with thanksgiving. Even as we make our prayers we should do so with thanksgiving.

“But in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. “ Philippians 4:6

“Give thanks in all circumstances as this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thess. 5:18. It  does say all circumstances not “some” or “certain”.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another,forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4: 31

God forgave your sins when Christ died on the cross on your behalf. The word says he took all our sins in his body so that we may die to sin and live for righteousness. So if forgiveness is given and one fails to extend the same to others is not only selfish but utterly ungrateful.

Unhealed wounds

It is important to acknowledge the hurt after you are offended. You hurt because you are wounded be it physically or emotionally or even both.

Wounds need to heal; they must heal if you are to carry on living. Get the right kind of assistance to help you first identify and help heal the wound. A trust worthy friend to talk to and seek professional help.
The wonderful thing about the God we serve is that he heals all kinds of wounds and with His help you can develop a forgiving heart.

Our God, praise his name is the one “who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases” Psalms 103:3

No matter who you are, what you have been through, you too can learn to forgive.

What does it mean to Fear the LORD?

Featured by ComeFullCircleblog, posted in Faith, Walk of Faith

We are told that the fear of the LORD is the beginning of Wisdom. But what does it mean really?

Perhaps you have been misled to think that God is unapproachable, too detached or even too busy to think of you let alone give an ear. The phrase “fear the Lord” has also been misunderstood and makes one flee from the Lord rather than run to him for help.

The fear of the Lord can be defined as having a specific sense of respect, awe and submission to God. To submit to him, you also need to obey and believe in his word and in his power. It sounds pretty straight forward but thankfully the scripture reveals more on this.

How to practice the Fear of the LORD

As believers it is imperative to study scripture thoroughly  and find what the Lord requires of us. After all the Lord promised that his Holy Spirit will help us and even teach us all things!

 Sadly many have confused the fear of the Lord with outward behavior and rituals, forgetting that it is a matter of the heart. Whatever is in your  heart eventually springs forth and will be visible to all. Today, you will see that despite your past, you can really learn how to fear the Lord.

Let’s take a look at a couple of verses from scripture that speak about Fearing the Lord

  • Psalms 34:11-14

Come, my children, listen to me;
    I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
Whoever of you loves life
    and desires to see many good days,
keep your tongue from evil
    and your lips from telling lies.
Turn from evil and do good;
    seek peace and pursue it.

  • Job 1:8

“Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.”

  • James 3:9 -12

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

  • Matthew 15:17- 20

“Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? 18 But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20 These are what defile a person; 

Therefore we can deduce that Fearing The Lord is a matter of one’s Speech and Conduct.

  1. Speech

    a) Keep your tongue from Evil and Lips from telling lies
    Tame your tongue. The Lord despises a perverted mouth. I’m certain this goes for what we say about others as well as what we say and think about ourselves.
    The scriptures tell us that we should not use our mouths to both praise and curse. It seems that the curses spoken end up defiling the person, because out of the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks. Jesus taught his disciples that the things that come out of a person’s mouth come out of the heart and these defile them.

    b) Praise God Alone
    The tongue and mouth should be an instrument with which we should praise God Alone and worship his Holy Name.
    If speaking evil defiles the heart then we can conclude that speaking  truth  sanctifies. Jesus prayed to God “Sanctify them by the  truth, your word is truth.” John 17: 17
    Hallelujah!! Let us use our lips and mouths to praise God and speak the truth.

    “Through  Jesus, therefore let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise – the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others for with such sacrifices God is pleased”  Hebrews 13:15-16
  2. Conduct

    a) Turn from evil
    Change your ways and shun evil. In the event that evil hurls itself to your face, do what Joseph of old did (Genesis 39:10 – 12). He avoided Potiphar’s wife and when she caught him, he fled! Don’t try to prove yourself as “strong”enough in such situations.
    b) Do good
    Avoiding evil alone isn’t enough, you need to do good. Do what is good in God’s eyes, not your eyes!

     If you follow the story of Joseph, (Genesis 39 – 43) he was wrongly imprisoned by Potiphar. While in the dungeon, he did not become bitter nor did he wallow in self- pity. Infact the prison warden put him in charge of other prisoners. Joseph cared for them and was concerned about their wellbeing. He even asked one of the new in mates  ”Why do you look so sad today”?  This question alone would go a long way in rekindling many broken family relationships that exist today!
    To cut the story short, it  led to a conversation about dreams that eventually caused Joseph to meet Pharaoh who promptly elevated him to Governor of Egypt!

    c) Seek Peace and pursue it
    Take the initiative to make peace, take the first step to apologize and  ask for forgiveness. Show grace to those who have wronged you, like Joseph. He made peace with his brothers and did not retaliate though he had the power to do so. He reassured them in his speech and his actions backed what he said.

    He  not only forgave them ,but went ahead to invite all his brothers their families and his father to come live with him in Egypt where they would escape the severe famine and death.70 Persons in all he welcomed who later grew into an entire nation, the nation of Israel!

    d) Avoid Pride and embrace humility
    The Lord hates pride and arrogance. Pride also always comes before a fall. In today’s world we so often mistake pride for confidence and humility for weakness.

Why Fear the LORD?

  • He reveals his ways to those who fear him.
    ”The Lord confides in those who fear him and makes his covenant known to them.” Psalms 25: 14
  • You will lack no good thing
    “Fear the LORD you his holy people for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry but those who fear the Lord lack no good thing” Psalms 34: 9
  • Pathway to wisdom
    “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of Wisdom” Psalms 111:10
  • You will be protected and blessed by God
    “But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.” Psalms 33:18
    “Praise the LORD .Blessed are those who fear the LORD who find great delight in his commands.” Psalms 112:1
  • The Lord loves those who fear him
    “As a Father has compassion on his children so does the Lord have compassion on those who fear him” Psalms 103:13
    “From everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him” Psalms 103:17

I’m sure by now you are convinced that one can learn to fear the Lord, this is only the beginning of wisdom. You should be on track to enjoying a wonderful and intimate relationship with the LORD. God bless you.

STOP Gender Based Violence

by ComeFullCircleblog, posted in Social Issues
Stop Gender Based Violence

The month  of October 2021 was marred by a surge of  Gender Based Violence cases in Nairobi. The  gut wrenching events that happened  left  Kenyans with many questions, devastated the  families, friends, industries and the country as a whole.

In both cases, they featured prominent personalities. I guess that’s the reason why the intricate details of both cases spread so fast and the names of the people involved on everyone’s lips.

Gender Based Violence( GBV) is not new in the country. It has been in existence for a long time and are often swept under the carpet and evidence locked up in dark closets. These unfortunately are only brought to the fore when well- known persons are involved .

A young life snuffed out while another life takes downward turn

World record holder and celebrated athlete Agnes, was brutally murdered by  her partner. She had just participated in Toyko Olympics this very year finishing 4th in 5000 meters race .A Month later ,she broke a world record in 10k  race setting a time of 30.01 in Germany!

It’s heartbreaking that even after shuttering world records travelling the world she still faced Gender Based Violence that is so pervasive in the country. This eventually lead to her death. Her former partner fled but was later apprehended by the authorities.

Agnes’ hopes and dreams of shattering more records and winning more gold medals were brutally crashed by one so close to her. She did not plan to die anytime soon. Her partner whom is not as well known, must have had dreams of his own too. Perhaps they had planned on starting a wonderful family together.


They must have heard of other gbv  and murder cases on the news, they perhaps seemed too far away from them. Just like the rest of us, we hear of things happening to others and we often tend to think that’s them,not me or they chose that life.

Two  attacked and shaken to the core while other two lives destroyed

The other case  involved two sisters who were attacked by two brothers they had met at a party. A certain video did rounds on social media captured some detail of what happened in real time. They only know what truly transpired that fateful night.  The ladies eventually got help and the brothers faced wrath of Kenyans on social media, and not to mention a looming legal case. This no doubt has damaged their families and their promising business venture that was to transform many lives for the better. All their lives  will never be the same again.

None of these people ever dreamed that such fate would befall them. They all seemed to be ordinary people living their lives ,just like you and me. It is unfortunate when one sees himself as an outsider and judges the victims and the offenders soo harshly, only for you to find yourself in a similar position having done probably  even worse.

Early Marriages and GBV

A certain wealthy Octogenarian sold off his teenage daughter into forced marriage to a friend. When the young lass ran away, her months’ old baby was given to the man to be raised in his home as a future wife!  Anyone who dared oppose the old man for his stoneage thinking would bear the brunt of his wrath, the first in line was his elderly wife.

I later learnt that as this was happening in Kenya, a similar story was happening in Afghanistan. Men forcing their wives to sell off their young daughters and babies as wives.

End GBV

We truly are our brothers and sister’s keeper, some tragedy that one person goes through may seem soo far off ,far removed from your reality until it is you facing that very thing.

Like loosing a loved one, you may have seen someone bury their dead and wondered why they didn’t carry themselves with decorum and dignity  until you get your turn.
We cheat ourselves in thinking that we are independent individuals, grown adults, making your own money, we don’t need to be bothered by others be it family, neighbor or foreigner.

We fool ourselves in thinking our countries are Independent and sovereign with our own jurisdictions and laws. We need to wake up to the reality that we may seem independent but are interdependent on one another.

It’s sad that when stories of this nature are aired on the media some of us are quick to change the channel or swipe away to something more interesting like the latest celebrity gossip. Preferring to  drown ourselves with  the seemingly  perfect lifestyles ignoring what is truly happening to humanity around us.

It’s sad when we act aloof thinking that those are not our problems, that everybody is different and independent We are more alike than you think, more connected to each other  than you know and interdependent on each other than we care to admit.

Ending GBV cannot be done by the mere stroke of a pen. I realize that stopping GBV would take more than that, more collective and deliberate action from people, institutions, governments. But if we each did our bit and took steps toward that daily we can stop GBV dead in its tracks

  • Admit that none of us are perfect.

    Our human pride makes us think that we are more superior than our fellow humans. It blurs our reality and we think we are perfect. But truth is none of us is perfect. None has a perfect heart, perfect behavior or perfect morals.

  • Admit that we need help.
    Now that we know we are not perfect, we seek help. We strive for excellence to become better. If you are in a strenuous relationship or troubled within yourself  seek help, someone to listen to you and offer  wise counsel and who you would be accountable to. Seeking help is not limited to experts but divine help as well!
    We should also seek help from Our Creator, for he made you after all. The Lord Jesus is our help in time of need. His Holy Spirit gives us counsel, strength, comfort and even helps us to live right. We are to rely on his strength and his guidance he promises that If we seek him we shall indeed find him! So start seeking!

  • Admit that we need to care for others
    We are interdependent and that no man or woman is an island! Nothing has made this fact more real than the recent Covid pandemic. When it started in China, it seemed just like any other flu until it spread to the entire world in a matter of days! To date there are more than 252 Million cases in the world, and out of those 5Million ended in fatalities.
    So let’s care for the plight of others. Reach out to help those in need, who are suffering, you don’t need to be a rich philanthropist to do so. Just start by being kind, speaking kind words to others without excluding yourself!
    Again this I have found will prove difficult if not impossible without divine help. The simplest way I can say this is that you can’t give what you don’t have. The Lord Jesus who is eternal love personified fills you with love that overflows to others. So if you ever run out go back to his source, its eternal, never ending plus he guarantees eternal life if you simply believe in him!
  • Take the right action
    Now that you have the information, you need to use it right? So go ahead and take action, take the right action that will lead you in the right direction, in doing your bit in ending GBV and transforming your little part of the world.

IN SEARCH OF PERFECTION

by ComeFullCircleblog, posted in Faith, Mental Health, Social Issues

Perfect Perfection

If there was one unconscious desire that all humans had it would be the pursuit of perfect perfection. Many wish they were  born into the perfect family, attended the perfect school, got perfect grades ,perfect friends, perfect scholarship, perfect  internship, perfect job, perfect employer, perfect BFF, Perfect boss, perfect customer service, perfect neighbor, perfect date, perfect  dress ,perfect suit, perfect phone ,perfect car, perfect ring, perfect performance, perfect house, perfect spouse, perfect body, perfect child, perfect city, perfect country, perfect world .Let me burst that bubble right here. We are undoubtedly in awe of perfect perfection yet we are imperfect beings!

The irony of life is an imperfect being demanding for perfection ,yet they themselves fall short and are making zero attempts to improve.

  • A parent demanding absolute obedience from their children, yet they themselves are blatantly disobedient .
  • An unfaithful spouse demanding perfect loyalty from their partner.
  • Incompetent leaders demanding nothing but the utmost performance.
  • A citizen criticizing their government for corruption while disregarding  their own thievery
  • Decrying  the immoral state of the community yet one’s life is in the proverbial immoral gutter.

No one is Perfect

 Interestingly those who seem perfect to the rest of the world are seen as super human; the most disciplined ,the most accomplished, the wealthiest, the healthiest and strongest , the fastest, most influential. This is not entirely negative as it spurs progress and encourages humanity to reach higher heights .They may appear perfect but are instead committed to a serious pursuit of excellence. We should all aspire for excellence and applaud those who do as they show the rest of the world that excellence is achievable.

Acknowledging that no one is perfect should never be an excuse for us to knowingly continue living in apathy or in sin. We should instead admit to ourselves first that we messed up and admit the same to God and guess what, He NEVER Condemns Us. He is Waiting for us to come to him and he will receive us with open arms.

Many of Us find it difficult to do so as we have a distorted view of who God is, some may see him as aloof and too far off, a mean school principal or judge or even an angry old man  . These  are just wrong perceptions tainted by unfortunate incidents  in your past!

He is a Loving Father, The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He is a Faithful and Just God .We are also promised that If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Hallelujah!!

Despite Our Imperfection, We Are Made Righteous

God knows  that we are not perfect beings, he wants us to rely on him on his strength and his mercy. God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin.

The Gospel reveals the righteousness of God – a righteousness that is by faith in Christ. The same Gospel declares the good news to all, that God sent his own  Son to die for all our sins. He took our sins to the cross and in exchange we got HIS Righteousness!

“ But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

Romans 3: 21 -24


The Only Perfect One

The Perfect One

The Perfect One

The Only Perfect One

He is perfectly Compassionate, He is LOVE

He perfectly True, He Is TRUTH

He is Perfectly Good, He is GREAT

He is perfectly Pure, He is HOLY

He is perfectly Right, He is RIGHTEOUS

He is perfect Power, He is POWERFUL

He is perfectly Strong, He is STRENGTH

He is perfect Glory , He is GLORIOUS

He is perfect Splendor, He is MAGNIFICENT MAJESTY

He is perfect Salvation ,HE is JESUS CHRIST

Comefullcircle.life

AFFIRMING YOURSELF

by ComeFullCircleblog, posted in Faith, Mental Health, Social Issues


It is said that affirmations encourage an optimistic and positive mindset thus enabling one to overcome fear, negative thoughts and reach their full potential. However for this concept to work, it must be applied daily and consistently for the affirmations to sink into one’s subconscious mind.

Affirmations have benefited many all over the world and thus I felt compelled to embark on discovering the science behind it and figure out how it works. Turns out it is been a topic that has been studied in depth and found these guys here who did a splendid job.

 According to the NCBI US National Library  of Medicine, self-affirmation activates areas in the brain associated with valuation and reward .The study involved testing groups of affirmed individuals  and non- affirmed individuals (control group) with a series of questions to test their values and responses in current, future and past scenarios all while undergoing fMRI(Functional magnetic resonance imaging).

The conclusion was that the affirmed group showed significant neural activity in the  brain valuation/reward network  as compared to the non- affirmed group. Additionally the affirmed group displayed significant neural activity in the self-processing network when viewing future and past oriented scenarios.

In a nut shell, the affirmed group performed better in assessing current ,past and future situations, thereby concluding their outlook was more optimistic. In layman’s terms their brains lit up like Christmas trees in all scenarios while the control group did not.

It’s interesting to note that the participants were assessed on what they perceived as true, and  not necessarily proven as fact. What  if one based their affirmations on solid fact?

Well here are some facts that you can chew on and consider as my version of daily affirmations that are based on factual evidence. I wonder what would happen if you tried these for a change.

DAILY AFFIRMATIONS
Daily Affirmations 2021
THE TRUTH BEHIND THESE AFFRIMATIONS

YOU ARE LOVED AND CHERISHED

“I have loved you with an everlasting Love, I have drawn you with unfailing kindness” Jeremiah 31:3

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life”

John 3:16

YOU ARE REDEEMED AND SET FREE

“If the Son sets you free you will be free indeed!” John 8:36

“In Christ we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” Ephesians 1:7

YOU ARE FORGIVEN AND EMBRACED

The Parable of the prodigal( lost) Son
“ So he got up and went to his Father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” Luke 15:20

YOU ARE TREASURED AND VALUED

“Since you are precious and honored in my sight and because I love you” Isaiah 43:4

YOU ARE SEEN AND HEARD

Hagar, Mother Of Ishmael running away from her mistress Sarai
She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her “You are the God who sees me”, for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me” That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi.
(Well of the Living One who sees me)

YOU ARE CARED FOR AND THOUGHT OF

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” 1Peter 5:7

God speaking to Jonah regarding Assyria
“And should I not be concerned for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred  and twenty thousand people..” Jonah 4:11

YOU ARE STRENGHTENED AND MADE WHOLE

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”  Isaiah 41:10

Prophet Isaiah speaking about Jesus
“..The punishment that brought us peace was  on him, and By his stripes we are healed” Isaiah 53:5

YOU ARE SHELTERED AND PROVIDED FOR

“I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”  Isaiah 41:10”

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most high will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty” Psalms 91:1

Abraham’s Test, God’s provision
“God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering my son.” Genesis 22:8

“..Put your hope in God who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.” 1 Tim 6:17

YOU ARE GIFTED AND TALENTED

God empowers the workers to make the ark of the covenant
“I have filled him with the Spirit of God with wisdom and understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills to make artistic designs for work in gold silver and bronze….also I have given ability to all the skilled workers to make everything I have commanded you” Exodus 31: 1-7

“But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift ,another has that.”1Cor 7:7

YOU ARE CALLED AND FOUND

“Do not fear for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine” Isaiah 43:1

Parable of the lost sheep
“Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep” Luke 15:6

YOU HAVE RECEIVED MERCY

“Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy” 1Pet 2:10

YOU ARE BLESSED

 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” Ephesians 1:3

THE SIX C’S OF FAMILY CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Featured by ComeFullCircleblog, posted in Uncategorized
A family that resolves conflict well
Photo By August de Richelieu from Pexels

Conflict is everywhere, one may try to escape it once in a while but it will keep coming back and when it does one may erupt under the pressure.

She saw it coming a long way off, the signs were everywhere so she did the best he could to avoid that confrontation, escape the discussion, play pretend. She was safe, or so she thought.

Then it happened! A Huge eruption and spewed out in anger and did things that she normally wouldn’t do. By the time she got a hold of her tongue, it was too late; the damage had already been done. The words shot like arrows and pierced into hearts of her loved ones.

I’m sure this scenario sounds very familiar and is definitely not a pleasant place to be in. The very next steps from this point determine the course the relationship would take. So to move forward in the right direction amends need to be made .The Six C’s of Family Conflict Resolution I call them;

  • CALM  down first
  • COOL OFF, then
  • CALL for help
  • COMEBACK and
  • COMMUNICATE  with
  • COMPASSION

Calm Down

So you have erupted and the lava is all over the place now, no need in spewing out any more. Even the most dangerous volcanic mountains don’t go on erupting continuously. Take long deep breaths as many as necessary. Breathe in deeply, hold your breath and breathe out slowly and repeat. Change your focus by getting away from the situation for a while; take a walk to release the tension.

Cool Off
Take deep breaths as you walk along, that volcanic explosivity index reading has to come down way below zero. Blow out that air and take deep cooling breaths, it will even help you think more clearly. Sometimes tears may be flowing steadily at this point, let them flow its ok. It’s necessary.

Listen to calming music and sing if you want to but do give the TV and phone a break flipping channels or   mindless scrolling on social media may spark off more negative emotions that would heighten the conflict. Get away from it all. Steer clear from the bottles or other stimulants and drugs as this would only give you a temporary high before you come crashing down to a lower state than you were at in the beginning.

Call for help

It’s very much in our human nature to want to pick up the phone and call someone to talk to especially when going through a tough patch. If you do get someone trustworthy that would give you a listening ear, by all means do.

As we humans are not perfect and at times when you need help the most, there may be no one close enough or available to give you the help you need.

Let me suggest to you that you can call on Jesus he is closer to us than the air we breathe. He is close to the broken hearted.
“The LORD is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalms 34:18

He knows when we are hurting even when others don’t see it .He knows exactly where and how much it hurts .He has a record count of every tear that you have cried.
“You keep track of all my sorrows you have collected all my tears in your bottle you have recorded each one in your book.” Psalms 56:8

He also knows us too well, better than anyone ever could. He knows our needs, our wants, and our desires and is very much able to release them to us in but only according to his will and his timing.

Jesus also promises to never leave us nor forsake us.  People can abandon you and forsake you but the Lord Jesus never will. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deut 31:6

Call on the name of the LORD to help you, strengthen you and give you peace.

Comeback

At times one may take time out to cool off and chose not to comeback to make peace and as a result many families fall apart.
Divorce rates are climbing higher due to unresolved family conflict. In Kenya for instance the divorce rate is now at 17.7%, the global outlook isn’t any better; In the US there are 3.2 divorces for every 1000 while Russia has the highest divorce rate in the world with 4.8 divorces for every 1000 according to this report done by the World Population Review.

Children abandoning their families has also become very prevalent in the recent past, I doubt there is quantifiable data on this statistic. Due to unresolved conflict some children decide to leave home (either as children or adults) and attempt to disassociate themselves from their parents and siblings and even going as far as changing their identities. Countless parents go down to the grave without having reconnected with their children let alone resolved their differences leaving indescribable pain  and despair for those left behind. All this needless pain because one party or both refused to “comeback” and resolve the conflict that could have been nipped in the bud!

Communicate with Compassion

For those who make it to comeback, do not return empty handed! Come back with the resolve to communicate with compassion.

Communication is one thing that cannot be escaped, whether one is speaking or is silent – they are still communicating. Do communicate by all means, but with compassion. It’s flabbergasting to see many leaders with excellent corporate communication skills but fail miserably in the home front, as they miss the most important ingredient Compassion. This isn’t taught in Harvard or any of the Ivy League universities, neither can it be manufactured.

The Lord is compassionate and we can learn to show compassion from him. The word tells us that “The Lord is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. Psalms 145:8” and also goes on to say in Isaiah 30:18 “Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.”
We are also urged “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. “Colossians 3:12

It’s not possible to separate love from compassion, it seems the compassion flows out of love. We all need to draw this love from the Lord who will enable us through his Holy Spirit to show love and compassion. Some of the many gifts of the Holy Spirit include love, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control all crucial ingredients to showing compassion.

Communicating with Compassion therefore cannot be done without the help of the Holy Spirit and Our Lord Jesus, as in our own human nature it’s not possible to do so flawlessly and effortlessly. If we all endeavored to communicate in this way, it would greatly reduce the rate of conflicts in families , so go on and make that resolve to communicate with compassion.

VICTORY AHEAD!

by ComeFullCircleblog, posted in Faith, Hope


Getting a driver’s license is pretty exciting. The promise of freedom on the freeways gives any learner the impetus to sharpen their driving skills and master all the road signs in preparation for the driver’s test.

I had this same excitement in my late teens when I was preparing for my driving test. Back then, the learners handbook was an actual book, loaded with instructions and a ton of road signs (most of which were not on any road in the country) hence making it difficult and almost impossible to recall during the test. This however did not dampen my spirits; I did my best to commit to memory all the road signs in the handbook and ace the test.
 Looking back now, I realize that most of those road signs were warning signs, all geared to alert the driver of the dangers that lay ahead. Hardly any of them give the assurance of hope or the anticipation of Victory Ahead.

The story of Deborah is an interesting tale of trials to triumph that can be applied even in the 21st century and give assurance of victory ahead.

Deborah was a prophetess and judge of Israel at a time when the nation was under oppression by their enemies for twenty long years. Sisera – the face of the adversary was army commander who lead this cruel campaign for decades without facing any opposition. It seems as though the people of Israel had no motivation to fight. In short they were;

Oppressed
Overwhelmed
Overpowered by the enemy.

Enter Deborah.
As a judge she often held court under the Palm of Deborah in a hilly countryside and as she was doing so she received a word from the Lord, specifically to certain man named Barak who was to lead the armies of Israel to victory.

She summoned him and gave him the following message as recorded in Judges 4:6-9

“The Lord, the God of Israel commands you: Go, take with you ten thousand men of Naphtali and Zebulun and lead them up to Mount Tabor. I will lead Sisera, the commander of Jabin’s army with his chariots and his troops to the Kishon River and give him into your hands.”

Barak said to her, “If you go with me, I will go; but if you don’t go with me I won’t go”
“Certainly I will go with you,” said Deborah. “But because of the course you are taking, the honor will not be yours, for the LORD will deliver Sisera into the hands of a woman.”

Deborah had specific details on how to overcome their oppressors of 20 years. She gave the message as instructed and got the ball rolling, in essence she was telling him “Don’t’ you see the sign? There is Victory Ahead!

The nitty-gritty of the message;

The Who:  Barak, son of Abinoam from Kedesh in Naphtali
The Where: To go & position his army at Mount Tabor
The What army? 10,000 men from Naphtali and Zebulun
The Where again? The enemy would be subdued at Kishon River
The How: Sisera would be delivered into the hands of a woman

How did Deborah achieve this feat?

She saw herself as a mother in Israel.

“Villagers in Israel would not fight; they held back until I, Deborah, arose,
 until I arose, a mother in Israel”. Judges 5:7
 Unlike some leaders today, she was not hung up on power, positions and self-promotion. Deborah was completely given to serving the people, and serving them with strength and wisdom drawn from God.

She positioned herself right

 Deborah  held court under the Palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim, and the Israelites went up to her to have their disputes decided.

Ramah:  Means height .It’s literally on a hilly region. It signifies a high spiritual ground like an altar where one would go to encounter God.

Psalms 24:4-5
“Who may ascend the mountain of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place? The one who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not trust in an idol or swear by a false god. They will receive vindication from God their Savior.”

Bethel: Means House of God, named so eons ago by one Jacob, who had a dream seeing a stairway to heaven with angels ascending and descending on it. Above it stood the LORD who spoke to him. Jacob later raised an altar at that spot, naming it Bethel.

Palm Tree: Sign of triumph – In the Gospel, Jesus’s triumphal entry into Jerusalem was celebrated by waving palm branches and laying them on the ground for him.

So learning from Deborah, there is victory ahead, let’s go to higher ground. A higher spiritual plane where we can sit at the feet of our LORD Jesus to pour out our hearts to Him and listen to Him. He is more than ready to pick us up in His arms and engulf us in his love.

Prayer

Our Father, thank you for this day that you have given us. Thank you that you have been the one sustaining us all, our families, our world. Forgive us our sins and wash us clean with your blood and enable us to ascend to your holy mountain where we can worship you in holiness and truth and where we may be in your presence and listen to your guidance.
Thank you Lord for hearing our prayer, we glorify your name and put our hope and trust in you. In Jesus’ name we pray AMEN