Everyone in this world at one point in their lives has had a dilemma, a classic catch 22 situation, where one had to choose between two options (and in today’s world several options) and not making any choice was not among the options!
I’m yet to meet someone who loves dilemmas and savors in the uncertainty of not knowing which way to go, what step or action to take especially if all available options seem grim. Perhaps there exist such free souls out there; I’m certainly not one of them. So you can imagine my default state when faced with dilemmas! It’s a struggle that requires one to carefully weigh the options with 20/20 vision, emotions, fears and all prejudices aside.
I recently stumbled upon some interesting stories in the bible, they are quite common actually but it was like I was seeing them for the first time and understanding that the characters here were also facing enormous dilemmas in their time.
Story of Tamar (Genesis 38)
Tamar was the daughter in law of Judah and wife of his first born son Er.
Er, however was wicked in the LORD’s sight, so the LORD put him to death. At this point we aren’t sure exactly what he did, as the bible does not explicitly reveal this, but there has been speculation among Christians that he must have done what his younger brother did.
Onan, his brother, inherited Tamar and was instructed as follows by his Dad: “Sleep with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother.” But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death also.”
Genesis 38:8
With this sudden turn of events Judah thought it wise to send her away to her Fathers’ household as his third son was still too young to marry her. So she obeyed and returned to where she hailed from to await her future husband to grow up.
At this point we can assess Tamar’s character as submissive and very obedient. She must have had a spotlessly clean record as we do not see her angered or acting out of disobedience.
Tamar however was in a dilemma, her very name, Tamar in Hebrew means “fruit” or “Palm tree” , the “date palm” to be specific. She knew that she was destined to be fruitful and bear children, but her husband was put to death by the LORD and her second husband as well. She must have been in pain and experienced such great losses over a short period of time, yet she does not rebel against the LORD for she knew that he is righteous and just. Her only possible future husband that would take her out of widowhood as Shelah, Judah’s last born son who was only a boy. She would have to wait for him to mature, but it would be at her expense for she would probably be unable to conceive by the time he was ready.
Being a widow in those times was horrifying; one had no sense of belonging, had no economic power and could hardly meet their basic needs. As a widow, one had only two options either be inherited by your deceased husband’s family or be abandoned altogether. In Tamar’s case ,she was send back to her Father’s household and lived as a widow there, no potential suitor in the neighborhood would marry her let alone approach her for she was condemned to wear mourning clothing that shouted her current state – “young unavailable widow!”
She was in a serious catch 22 situation, She wanted to be who she was destined to be; fruitful, a mother too many, but she was widowed young, widowed twice infact! She would also have to be married to bear children, and the only possible father to her children was still a child himself!
Yet this desire to fulfill her destiny still gnawed at her spirit day after day. Until one day, she figured she would have to seize the opportunity and change her fate. Knowing full well the repercussions of her actions. She risked facing a physically painful death on one hand and on the other, a death caused by sorrow .Which ever route she took, death was on the other side waiting for her.
Judah’s first wife later died, and he went to a nearby town with his buddies to shear sheep. I don’t know if this is what they did to overcome sorrow or he just need some time with the boys out of town and do guy stuff. She somehow got wind of their plot (I also can’t figure out how they did this without cellphones) and decided to way lay him en-route to this town. She had a quick change of wardrobe and covered herself with a veil to disguise her and sat down at the entrance. Judah thought she was a prostitute and fell for the plot hook line and sinker. She became pregnant by him and conceived twins.
Sometime later Judah got word that Tamar was pregnant. I bet he must have wondered “how on earth did that happen? This atrocity was punishable by death!
When she proved that he was indeed the Father to her unborn children, her life was spared and Judah admitted that she was more righteous than he for he wouldn’t let her marry his only remaining son, Shelah.
The twins she bore Judah were Perez and Zerah. Out of Perez’s lineage Christ Jesus came to be. Tamar through her resolute action came to enter into the lineage of Kings and the King of Kings – Christ Jesus.
Story of Rahab (Joshua 2)
Rahab seemed to have been a well-known woman, but known for the wrong reasons. She was a prostitute and her trade must have been well known even by foreigners, for when Joshua sent his spies to Jericho, they ended up in her house.
The reigning king of Jericho got wind that they were indeed at her residence and sent word ordering her to bring them out.
She was also in a dilemma, she feared the people of Israel and knew that their LORD was mighty and powerful and watched over his people and ensure that they got victory wherever they went. That meant that they would most certainly conquer her city and kill all who lived there.
On the other hand, she knew that if she helped them she would be aiding an enemy of the state and would most certainly be murdered by the King of Jericho. Whatever option she took ,she risked her very life and those of her family .She opted to go with the first option and informed the King that she had indeed received the spies but they later left at dusk just before the city gates were closed .She also went ahead to urge him to chase after them for they couldn’t have been too far off
She hid the spies on her roof and later had a very candid discussion with them confessing that she knew for a fact that the LORD had given Israel the land of Jericho and heard of the miraculous wonders the LORD had done for this people and even confessed how her fellow citizens were melting out of fear of them .At that point she struck a deal with them. They pledged that they would spare her life and those of her loved ones when they come to take over the city of Jericho for the kindness she showed them.
She let them down with a rope through the window down to outside the city wall and advised them to run to the hills and lay low there for 3 days till the pursers tire off can call off their mission.
The men said to her, “This oath you made us swear will not be binding on us unless, when we enter the land, you have tied this scarlet cord in the window through which you let us down, and unless you have brought your father and mother, your brothers and all your family into your house. 19 If any of them go outside your house into the street, their blood will be on their own heads; we will not be responsible. As for those who are in the house with you, their blood will be on our head if a hand is laid on them. But if you tell what we are doing, we will be released from the oath you made us swear.”
“Agreed,” she replied. “Let it be as you say.” Joshua 2:17-21
Needless to say, the scarlet cord remained in its place and when the people of Israel attacked the city, Rahab and her entire household was saved.
We learn later that she later got married to Salmon and had a child with him – Boaz who happens to be the great grandfather of King David. Hence Rahab’s dilemma and the action she took by faith ushered her into the lineage of the Kings.
Story of Ruth (Ruth 1:-4:)
One of the many love stories in the bible is the story of Ruth.
Ruth a Moabite was also widowed young. We learn that she was resilient woman who was not afraid of work and was submissive to her first husband for she completely abandoned the ways of the Moabite people and fully embraced life as a Hebrew Woman.
Even after his death she still showed her faithfulness, her Mother in law Naomi urged her return to her mother’s household but she refused and even went ahead to release her from Hebrew obligations and allowed her to leave and remarry anyone she desired. Ruth would hear none of it. They wept aloud and parted ways with her sister in law Orpah but Ruth clung to Naomi and said to her this famous phrase;
“Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” Ruth 1:16- 17
So the two widowed women returned to Naomi’s ancestral home in Bethlehem and Ruth took the initiative to look for work and ended up in Boaz’s farm. The beauty of this story is that Naomi realizes that Boaz is a kingsman redeemer, only he could legally marry Ruth for he was related to her deceased husband. She then advised Ruth to dress up ,perfume herself and make her intention known to Boaz.
Ruth was in a catch 22, she desired to settle and get married, the only person on earth she was permitted to marry was a kingsman redeemer, and the one in cross hairs was Boaz. She would have to speak to him in private; the threshing floor seemed to be perfect for there was no other opportunity she would get to be that close to him to discuss such weighty matters. She would have to risk her reputation to have that discussion and not to mention to make the first move in the night! Ruth risked going to the threshing floor .Being a patriarchal society there were strict rules of what women shouldn’t do. Had her plans been found out and caught red handed in the threshing floor and at that time, probably would have been stoned to death. As soon as she spotted him ( Night vision goggles must have come in pretty handy) she approached quietly, uncovered his feet and lay down. He got startled and woke up .Dazed to find a woman on his bed ,he asked who she was and right on cue she said
“I am your servant Ruth. Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a guardian-redeemer of our family” Ruth 3:9
Boaz was very touched by her gesture , which he understood as a marriage proposal, and promised to take action and redeem her legally as his wife the very next day.
Boaz eventually married Ruth and acquired the land of her deceased husbands family and together, they had a son, Obed, who became the grandfather of King David. Ruth through her act of faith, entered in to the lineage of the Messiah.
Key Lessons to learn on how to deal with dilemmas
- All three women in the stories above; Tamar, Rahab and Ruth had faced huge dilemmas. They had to take decisive action. -We need to learn to take decisive action in spite of fear
- None of these women complained or groaned to people about the problems that stared them in the face – No pity parties
- None of these women complained to God ,their actions show that they must have been seeking the Lord’s guidance and went ahead to act – No complaining to God or to his servants but seek God’s will
- They were intentional, didn’t act on a whim or a fad – Be intentional!
- Their actions were fueled by Faith in the LORD, thus the LORD saw them as righteous. “ In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction” James 2:25
- They sought the Lord and believed in him and went ahead to act out of that faith they had in Him. Faith without action is dead.
- They all risked their very lives – We need to trust in the LORD and take risks
- They each got what they were seeking – REDEMPTION and so much more, entered into the lineage of Kings and of the King of Kings!
ComeFullCircle 
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