Even writing this very word “forgiveness” causes me to shudder.
This is one topic that deep down I find difficult to write about. You see I’m not writing from a place of perfection, I cannot lie that I have perfected this whole thing about forgiveness. I’m doing this out of obedience and in the long run become beneficial to others and myself as well.
The funny thing is the only way to know is to do it till the very end.
WHY FORGIVE?
I have caught myself muttering “Why should I forgive them anyway? Wasn’t I the wronged party here?”
Forgiveness is easier said than done.
Wouldn’t it be easier if there was a forgiveness pill?
Just pop it in and let it work on the inside and out. It would sell like crazy… for eternity and across all galaxies in the universe!!…..Let me not get too loud lest Elon gets any crazy ideas.
In reality, the only way to deal with forgiveness is to go through it, no matter how painful.
So why forgive in the first place?
Christ loved us first and forgave us, even when we did not deserve it.
Jesus Christ taught on forgiveness and even lived it. He said that if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins your Father will not forgive your sins.
He also taught through parables, the best example on forgiveness can be drawn from parable of the unmerciful servant. (Matthew 18:21-35). If you are not familiar with that story it goes something like this. See, the servant owed a certain king 10,000 bags of gold and was unable to repay him. The verdict was that the servant’s wife and children would be sold to clear his debt. He fell on his knees and begged the king for patience. The King took pity on him, cancelled the entire debt and let him go.
Shortly after, this same servant found a fellow servant who owed him a mere 100 silver coins. Instead of showing him compassion, he grabbed him, choked his throat demanding his payment. The King Later heard about this and was livid. He had the unmerciful servant arrested and brought to him “Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” He asked. He had him imprisoned until he paid back all he owed.
The King in the story represents our Heavenly Father; he will treat us in the same manner if we fail to forgive others from the heart.
Even when Christ was looked down upon(by those close to him and far away), spat on, flogged and stripped,betrayed more than thrice by his buddies (all in the same night!!) ridiculed and brutally murdered, his dying words were”Father forgive them,for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34
He went through so much pain and humiliation yet he chose not to retaliate but to pray for others.Most of us have not endured a fraction of what He did,yet we are unable to forgive.
Some scripture verses put it quite bluntly, hence the reason they are rarely quoted.
“Anyone who does not loves remains in death. Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer”. 1 John 3:15
Jesus commands us to love one another. “A new command I give you, Love one another as I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another” John 13:34- 35
“This is how we know that love is: Jesus laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” 1 John 3:16
We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or a sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen”. 1 John 3:19
“This is love for God: to keep his commands”. 1 John 5:3
Other Benefits
Forgiveness also has been proven to produce health benefits – for one’s entire wellbeing and mental health, there are tons of medical studies that prove this fact.
From a scriptural perspective, this is also true. When God forgives, he also heals.
When Jesus healed the cripple in Luke He said “Friends your sins are forgiven” Luke5 17- 26 .To get more insights about this check out my previous post on Forgiveness and Healing
Forgiveness also leads to healing of land to mean the nations or the people
2Chronicles 7:14 “I will forgive their sin and heal their land”
As believers, when we choose to forgive we are blessed by the Lord in ways that we cannot even begin to imagine. It all sounds pretty straight forward, but it’s difficult because there are many obstacles in the way that hinder us from practicing forgiveness.
HINDERANCES TO FORGIVENESS
Disobedience
Failing to forgive someone or to receive forgiveness is outright disobedience to God.
Now that’s difficult to swallow!! Take a deep breath and let’s try that again in tiny bits.
Christ summarized the 10 commandments into two; the first to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind”
and the second to “love your neighbor as yourself”. Matthew 22: 37 -40
We are also not left guessing on what love really means. 1 Corinthians 13 describes the attributes of Love. It is patient, kind but also Love is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs.
Guess what unforgiveness is? State of being easily angered and keeping long records of wrongs done.
The Lord’s Prayer also says “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors” Matthew 6:12
We are to love one another, forgive and show mercy and when we fail to do so, we are disobeying God’s word.
Pride
A prideful person is unable to live in harmony with others. It’s quite unfortunate that in the world we live in today, pride is thought to be a form of confidence. Many have been misled to believe in the “Me, myself and I” mentality and that being humble is to be retrogressive and the way of life of the 1st century folks.
“Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge;I will repay. Says the Lord”. Romans 12:16- 20
Ungratefulness
Gratitude is one of the hallmarks of Christianity and other religions as well. Infact scripture tells us to enter into God’s gates presence with thanksgiving. Even as we make our prayers we should do so with thanksgiving.
“But in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. “ Philippians 4:6
“Give thanks in all circumstances as this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thess. 5:18. It does say all circumstances not “some” or “certain”.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another,forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4: 31
God forgave your sins when Christ died on the cross on your behalf. The word says he took all our sins in his body so that we may die to sin and live for righteousness. So if forgiveness is given and one fails to extend the same to others is not only selfish but utterly ungrateful.
Unhealed wounds
It is important to acknowledge the hurt after you are offended. You hurt because you are wounded be it physically or emotionally or even both.
Wounds need to heal; they must heal if you are to carry on living. Get the right kind of assistance to help you first identify and help heal the wound. A trust worthy friend to talk to and seek professional help.
The wonderful thing about the God we serve is that he heals all kinds of wounds and with His help you can develop a forgiving heart.
Our God, praise his name is the one “who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases” Psalms 103:3
No matter who you are, what you have been through, you too can learn to forgive.
ComeFullCircle 